June 8, 2009

Marriage is a knotty affair here

Bangalore: Twenty-five cases every day and 1,400 cases in six months. That's
IT's city track record on divorce.
Between January and June 2009, as many as 1,400 couples in the city have
decided they cannot live with each other and iled for divorce in family
courts. The trend is not new as 2008 saw 5,000 cases.
When the family court was set up in 1984 because divorce cases in civil
courts were taking too long, there were 800 pending cases. Today, family
court officials say there are an average 25 cases of matrimonial discord
being filed every day. While a mutual consent petition may be resolved in as
little as two months, cases are known to drag on for 5-6 years, and more, in
some cases.
*A TREND IN CITIES
*Filing of divorce by women is a big trend in cities and also gaining ground
in smaller towns. "Women are more prodivorce these days and there is very
little tolerance of bad behaviour by husbands,'' says Sheela Anish,
advocate, who is also on the board of The Indian Federation of Women
Lawyers. She attributes such sentiments to economic independence, lessening
social stigma and more awareness.
*7-YEAR ITCH IS PASSE
*There used to be a seven-year itch earlier, when it was said that it took
seven years into the marriage before the couple would become fully
compatible. "But not many are willing to wait that long to see whether they
are compatible or not,'' she says.
There is a huge shift in societal ideas too. "Women have changed a lot
over the last couple of generations. Men need to change too and become more
accommodative. With more women working, having successful careers and living
in a very cosmopolitan set up, acceptance of the idea of divorce has
increased,'' opine family court lawyers. Four family courts in city Average
25 cases filed every day Over 1,400 cases filed from Jan 2009 till date 2008
saw nearly 5,000 cases Average backlog could be 25-30 per cent *CASE
STUDIES:
A STUDY IN CONTRAST *
It cannot be called innocence. Or even ignorance for that matter. Maybe it
was a vague sense of acceptance that made Shalini Verma (name changed)
tolerate bestial behaviour towards her from her husband for two decades, to
the point that she even thought it was 'normal'. In return, there were the
riches and lavish luxuries; then came a decadent lifestyle. Help came from
thousands of miles away; from The Oprah Winfrey Show. The more episodes on
television she saw, the more Verma was convinced that there was something
very wrong with her life. And she walked out.
If that was a case of extreme tolerance, Vandana Deshpande's (name
changed) case was one of extreme intolerance.
She wanted a separation and a divorce from her husband the day they got
married, all because he was a diploma engineer and not a BE graduate as she
had been lead to believe. Mediation did not help change her mind and one
year on, both went their separate ways.
These are extremes. But such stories are alarmingly common these days,
says lawyer Sheela Anish.

Source : http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Default/Scripting/ArticleWin.asp?From=Archive&Source=Page&Skin=TOINEW&BaseHref=TOIBG%2F2009%2F06%2F08&ViewMode=GIF&GZ=T&PageLabel=2&EntityId=Ar00202&AppName=1

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